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Wednesday One-liners Watch What They Eat

Fortysomething dude: Don’t tell me I don’t know about metabolism! I have known about metabolism my entire life. Metabolize yourself! –The Gate, Park Slope Overheard by: Moochy and D-Rock Girl on cell:...

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It’s Her Ex

Anorexic JAP on cell: …No money, so I stopped dating him.Hobo: Whore.Anorexic JAP, to hobo: Excuse me?Hobo: Nice thighs — have another doughnut. –East Village

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Once Again: Nothing Tastes as Good as Thin Feels

Well-dressed girl #1: You know what? Well-dressed girl #2: What? Well-dressed girl #1: Throwing up at work really isn’t as bad as it seems. –Prince Street Chick #1: …so, I got these laxatives. Chick...

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Today I Swallowed Some of My Own Spit, So I'm Good

Anorexic #1: I didn't not eat for three days, I just didn't really…Anorexic #2: Eat?Anorexic #1: Yeah. –Columbus Circle Overheard by: the expeditor

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The New Wilson Phillips Song is Kinda Catchy

Anorexia: Come on baby, we gotta move. Manboobs: Stop pulling me down, fat ass. –Penn Station

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Wednesday Doesn't Eat Enough to Keep a One-Liner Alive

Skinny professor: John* [a chubby professor] and I started Weight Watchers together at the same time! –Hostos Faculty Dining Room Overheard by: glad she's leaving Skinny girl to clerk: Hi, do you have...

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Calista Flockhart Must Feel So Forgotten

Chick #1: Well, no, you look better now, but you were never that skinny, I mean, I never looked at you like “she needs a sandwich”, like… Chick #2: No, but I haven’t gained any weight, really; my...

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Finally My Friendship with You Begins to Pay Off

Skinny girl: I ate the whole bag.Fat girl: I know.Skinny girl: But, like… The whole bag.Fat girl: I know… If it makes you feel any better, I had fried chicken wings and chocolate cake on Friday.Skinny...

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Unless Cocaine and Penises Count

Chubby girl: I need to lose some weight before I go on vacation. What did you eat when you went on your three-day diet? Anorexic girl: Uh…I didn't. –. Source

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Food and I Have Agreed to Date Other People

Chick #1: Did you eat anything tonight?Chick #2: No. I haven’t been eating much lately, but not in the unhealthy way. –Bowery & Source

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